Get ready to rip off your players BIG TIME! Finally you can give your players the look and feel of an Artifact-Level magical weapon, without all that pesky “game balance” becoming a worry.

A Sword

Soulsmasher may be more than you bargained for!

Soul-Smasher – the Sword that Talks!
You know your players love to have intelligent weapons. But all the great ones, the “artifact level” weapons of lore, have built in egos to manage the awesome power they contain. Whether this is a byproduct of the wizardly crafting, or a deliberate mechanism to tame the disparate magics from which they are formed, it is a well known convention that any sword worth its metal will test the wielder’s mettle.

Playing on that cliché, GGIH has produced this amusingly useless sword. This inexpensive sword has a simple “glow” enchantment placed on it to lure potential wielders. It comes sheathed in a tattered cloth wrapping which allows the blue glow to seep tantalizingly into the darkness for the players to see. Place the sword in a likely location (tomb, cave, footlocker, pawn-shop, etc…) where the unsuspecting PC can find it.

Once removed from its tattered cloth scabbard, the sword is set to resist use through an embedded telekinesis spell, all the while shouting things like “Your will is not strong enough to bind me!” and “I will be the master, and you the slave!” The sword will swing left and right, pulling the player as it seems to fight a battle of wills.

After 60 seconds of struggling, the sword will “submit” and loudly proclaim, “You have bested me, master of swords! I am your servant. Let us make rivers of blood together, for you now wield SOUL-SMASHER!”

Afterwards, if the sword is used by this wielder it will make loud, boastful statements during any battle. Use this chart to determine what the sword will say. Either Roll 1d10 or select the words yourself.

1. Prepare to die, Pigs!
2. Cringe! For today you face the world’s greatest swordsman!
3. I will feast on your soul this day!
5. None can defeat SOUL-SMASHER!
6. Your blood is syrup on the tasty pancake of battle!
7. Afraid of the dark? Soon that is all you will see!
8. Know you not that you face the king of swords?
9. My master shall be your undoing!
10. This is ironic! I killed your father!

If any new user picks it up, the whole process starts again.

Game System Notes:
D20/D&D – Maintaining a grip on the sword while it performs its fake “test of wills” requires a DC-10 to hold onto the sword.
GURPS – Maintaining a grip on the sword while it performs its fake “test of wills” requires a check against the average of Dexterity and Strength, with a difficulty of 9. Formula: (DEX + STR) / 2

About the Author

I am "The Management."